Finally we decided to set a date and JUST DO IT!

In the past, the where, what, when, why and hows of JUST DOING IT  overwhelmed to the point of Just NOT Doing It!

I am not a fuss over every little detail kinda gal (except for collars and jewels of course) so just the thought of planning a wedding made me almost feel nauseous…Bleck was all I could think.

I am not against a big, beautiful, invite everybody you have ever known type of wedding, in fact my daughter is getting married next year in what appears to be an ever expanding and full of a gajillion details type of wedding and I’m all for it…I’m just glad I don’t have to do it, or plan it.

I just have to listen and support her decisions  (we talk on the phone almost everyday) and commiserate or celebrate the the ups and downs of planning a big beautiful wedding….I remember last October when she called, almost breathless with excitement ” MOM, I found it…I can’t believe it!  Its too gorgeous for words and well, I just know it’s the one!!!”  ” What did you did you find Em?”  I replied with increasing excitement sensing this was something big. Emery responded,  her voice cracking with emotion  “THE DRESS!!”  then ” you have to see it, I’ll send you pics  my friend Asher took of me in it, hold on” And then through the marvel of technology the images popped up on my screen through her e-mail message and I got to share this beautiful moment with my daughter even though we live at opposite ends of the country (her on the West Coast of Canada, and us in the East)  Too Cool.

And it was THE DRESS!

It was perfect,  gorgeous, simple, elegant, stunning and sooooo Emery…And then in a flash I saw, my little girl, my little blonde curly haired baby girl on the beach picking up shells, her hair in a bandanna and wearing her favorite purple and white knit sweater and all of a sudden POOF, here she is all grown up and looking more beautiful  than ever in a dress that was just made for her, for her wedding day.  I got chills then felt a lump in my throat and finally tears. It was a great moment…We put a deposit on the dress that day and although she is not getting married till next year, she now owns official visitation rights to THE DRESS. 

No this isn't THE DRESS but this is Em in a paper wedding dress several years ago at her cousins wedding

I am so happy for both Emery and Jesse and I know they will have the most beautiful wedding possible. It is allot of planning and preparation and yes, stress but it will be worth it and it is what they want and I am really excited to be a part of it in any way I can.

Gosh how your idea of  things change as you get older….Well maybe not exactly,  if I have to be honest, even when I was younger I never really saw myself in a big all out pomp and circumstance type of wedding, nope…In fact my first wedding was an excursion to Reno Nevada in a hokey wedding chapel wearing a red crushed velvet mini dress..I guess maybe I just like the non traditional route, hmmmm

In two days from today I will ge married for the second time, 11 years post divorce and two years from when I asked Robin to marry me…Yeah, I did the askin (that non traditional thing again) and interestingly, Robin just pointed out to me that the wedding date that we seemed to randomly choose is also the exact date we got engaged two years ago…Too cool the way things sometimes work out when you’re not trying to hard to plan but just let things happen as they should….I also call it getting out of my own way, consciously removing any mental  roadblocks, excuses or detrimental thinking…And, well, JUST DO IT already!

Picking the Wedding date that just happened to be the same day we got engaged is not the only cool little detail that just happened. Here is the evolution of my unplanned,  no muss no fuss Wedding/Honeymoon…

We didn’t want  a traditional reception so initially thought we would just go to the courthouse and get married then leave for a fab Honeymoon somewhere warm, lay on the beach and ahhhh…The only thing wrong with this picture is our sadness at not being able to celebrate our marriage with friends and family. What to do?

I didn’t want the thought of disappointing friends and family to stop us from going forward so we went to the courthouse to fill out forms for the marriage certificate  and then  found out we needed two witnesses to attend the service…It’s funny now but my initial thoughts were, can’t we just hire two people?…We were still trying to keep it on the down low. My next thought and obvious choice was to ask my BF Karen, who enthusiastically said YEEEESSSS!!!

 Robin asked his two best bud’s Mark and Jamie (OK, we have 2 witnesses and a spare) All of a sudden our getting married somehow instantly got a little more special (thank-you courthouse) by having 3 people attend that mean so much to us…..Oh yes I have to mention that my BF Karen also doubles as an Event Planner Extraordinaire or maybe more aptly titled ’Social Engineering Expert’ tee hee!

Our dialogue from Sunday night as follows:

Karen ” Char how about just a little party, you know, just friends…After the ceremony we can all gather, you know, just a little,  let’s have fun come celebrate with Robin and Char thing ”

Char,” Not sure if Robin will go for that K, he just wants to keep it low key, doesn’t like to be the center of attention, but I kinda like the idea, hmmm, no time to plan anything though and you know how I hate planning so maybe when we get back from vaca”

 Karen,” But won’t it be more fun if you have a party the day of your wedding, you know, the exact day, so much more fun and exciting than after the fact”

Char” yeah, you are right, I’m really starting to like this idea, but where would we ever be able to find somewhere soooooo last minute, hmmmm remember the last party you planned for Robin, 2 yrs ago, where I got up on stage and over the microphone in front of all our friends asked Robin to marry me, hahahahahaha, that was sooo much fun, what was the name of that place again?”

 Karen, ” The NEWFIE PUB”

Char, ” OMG wouldn’t that be so cool, we could ask people to meet us there after the ceremony, no big official thing or anything just friends gathering right..Please no big details ”

 Karen,” SHUT UP, I’m so on it, done! Love ya”

 Through the magic of FB event planing has never been so easy or instantaneous…After meeting with Karen Sunday night by Monday of this week we had a pseudo reception planned and invites sent and responses flowing in….I felt the first butterflies in my stomach, I’m getting married this week

Then Karen  asked me  what I was wearing…My response, I really hadn’t thought about it, not sure, then I had a flash back and thought…Ok that is really not true. Let me back up a bit,  1 year ago we had  decided to get married in Florida, but after a month of being overwhelmed by the details of planning a destination wedding,  I gave up and said, arrrggghhh, not ready, let just go for the vacation and do the wedding later. Robin somehow understood so we put everything on hold till now. Oh and during that month or two I spent planning the Florida Wedding I had bought not one but two wedding dresses

 I think subconsciously I thought since we were getting married at the courthouse, I could wear just any old thing I pulled out of my closet, so wasn’t particularly worried but after Karen asked about what I was going to wear….That little  light came on, didn’t I already have a wedding dress or two in my closet somewhere? I’m chuckling right now as I type because I realize how lame that sounds…How could I forget about the not one but TWO gowns I bought on EBAY (i couldn’t decide so bought both)  I purchased a year ago (you know the Florida thing) and then when we postponed the wedding, I zipped them up in a garment bag and poof forgot about them.

I pulled them out the other day, tried on my favorite of the two and magically, I  fell in love all over again with my dress, THE DRESS. It is perfect, simple, elegant stunning and sooooo me. I laid down on my bed with the gown on and felt the tears coming, I was having a huge moment then it hit me all at once.

 My reluctance to plan a wedding is in no way a reflection of how I feel about getting married for a second time, in fact it is just the opposite, the meaning of marriage resonates with me more deeply than ever and I understand maybe for the first time why people want to get married and commit to each other forever and a day…

Robin you are the one. I know now that you recognized it way before me and I count my blessings that you hung in there as long as you did with me.

Tonight I am putting the finishing touches on the wedding bands I am making…I am so excited and can hardly wait to show pics (coming soon) This is my first attempt at designing and making wedding rings and I can honestly say there was a little bit of blood,sweat  and tears and a whole lot of love put into them.

Wish us Luck, see ya at the Newfie Pub!!!

Wedding Fri. next week the Mayan Riviera Honeymoon…To be continued!

Here is a little photo collage’s of our crazy two years together…..Hmmm, I think I should get an award for the most hair color changes in two years hahahaha, can you tell I embrace change.